Saturday, February 9, 2008

the funny thing about feelings

By most measures, this week was a good week. Richard had his 5-year colonoscopy and the results were normal. I had a number of productive days and very good meetings at work. I went out with my closest friend to see a play. I made progress in "exorcising some ghosts" from my life, as I mentioned I had to in my last post.

So the question I ask myself right now is, Why do I feel so unimpressed with my life? Why is there a tightening in my chest and a restlessness in my heart? Maybe it's not even worth asking the question. I don't know.

For Lent (and for my own mental health) I have given up "TV." We don't actually get any reception on our television set, so what I mean is that I have given up watching television programs online. I knew I had to do something when I had finished one-and-a-half seasons each of Friday Night Lights, Gray's Anatomy and Heroes and all the available episodes of Battlestar Gallactica. All in a relatively short stretch of time. Truly, I have felt myself get stupider. I used to be so smart, it's quite sad really. So now I'm trying to remember how to read and do other things that don't involve streaming video. If I were really ambitious, I'd give up the internet too, but (let's be serious) that's not going to happen until I'm forced.