Scatter-brained

I am finding it ridiculously hard to concentrate today. The past couple of weeks have been this way, truth be told. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to focus again. What if I'm like this for the rest of my life, sitting at my desk in nonproductivity, responding to random emails while ignoring the important ones, failing to see what I am able to do and only seeing what I cannot do, checking the BBC web site every ten minutes to read about the Virginia Tech shootings (terrible!) and updates from Darfur (terrible!) and Madonna's second visit to Malawi (who cares?), checking the weather, seeing who's on Skype, listening to uninteresting conversations outside my office, drinking too much coffee, chewing too much gum, wasting time, wasting away, wasting energy, wasting space, wasting electricity. I think my brain used to function better than it does now. I could share my story as a warning to teenagers: "This is your brain 10 years after illegal drugs." Or "This is your brain on prozac." Or "This is what happens when you lack a clear purpose, plan and vision in your job." But teenagers don't care about that.

Oh Lord, won't You give me clarity, patience to get through this, wisdom and perseverence to do something worthwhile even when things feel vague and uncertain? I feel stuck.