Week in Winnipeg

There's something that feels so right about being surrounded by mounds of snow at Christmas time. We are virtually buried here and it is cozy and cold and comforting. The temperature has been quite mild, all things considered, and although that is probably the fault of global warming, I'm enjoying it.

Richard and I have carelessly spent the last six days in no rush to do anything more strenuous than watch Battlestar Gallactica, breaking up our days with short walks or card games or visits to friends' homes. Two things have marked our time here: food and family. Both available in abundance, both more than I feel I can handle at times, both I've been tremendously grateful for. There is love and joy here, and much laughter. There is history. We are blessed.

In an hour or so we will go to church, the same church in which Richard grew up. But first, of course, a meal...

Five Degrees

That's the temperature outside. Five degrees. Farenheit. Welcome to Winnipeg.

I am a bad blogger, I know. It's been ages since my last post. I realize that my posting style, like my style of communicating generally, is to only post things that I've thought through somewhat. Or to post about things that I don't ever expect to figure out. I don't really enjoy writing about things that I am wavering about, going back and forth on, changing my mind about every other day but ultimately feel like I eventually have to know the answer. Or eventually I at least have to choose something. And right now, with my life, as I ponder the future, I seem to be stuck in the position: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. And yes, of course I know there's probably not one right answer, not one path to take, no one decision that will make my life either a Success or a Dismal Failure. But my black-and-white mind categorizes things in this way. So my silence online is matched by the opposite in my head -- endless chatter, noise, thinking, playing out different scenarios. Something is coming, a change is coming, but What Exactly?

Maybe the cold air will clear my head of the noise...

Prayer for the day

Note: This post is more for me than for you. Feel free not to read it. I won't be offended.

Is it wrong to title a post "prayer for the day" when it's Sunday and I'm skipping church? I have a headache but what else is new? I should be on my way to church in 10 minutes. But I am staying home. Nevertheless, I will trust that God will hear my prayer.

I have a list of things to do over the next few days, and my pragmatic prayer is that I would actually do them rather than sit around doing worthless and/or self-destructive things. I pray that I would choose life this day rather than a shadow of life. I pray for God's peace and pacing. I pray for God to hold me up so I do not fall into self-pity or talk myself into believing it is all futile. I pray for the Holy Spirit to breathe energy and hope and joy into my day so that I can go to sleep tonight and not wake up with a headache because I've been grinding my teeth. I pray that Jesus would walk with me and help me to put one foot in front of the other as I seek out the path of life and God's will.

So, back to the pragmatic...On my list:

• Laundry (already on load #2!)
• Study for the GRE (I decided this weekend I'd take it just in case -- picked up a study aid and realized yesterday how much fun it is to study for a test again!)
• Attend church meeting this afternoon regarding possibility of planting a church campus in the city
• Email directors of a couple of graduate programs I'm interested in to get their input on some specific questions I have
• Pick up dry cleaning
• Go grocery shopping
• Outline objectives and broad strategy for research project I wish to undertake at work
• Email former grad school professor to see if he'd be willing to talk to me about above project
• Clean bathroom and vacuum

If you're still reading, don't say I didn't warn you. That's it. That's the end of the post.